[DRAFT] No Pain, No Gain: What My Daughter's MCAT Taught Me About Risk

On February 18, 2026, I spoke to a group of international students at Northeastern University, many from India and China. During the talk, I shared a story that I later wondered whether I should have told.

Before college, my daughter decided she wanted to become a physician. She majored in pre-med and dreamed of attending UT Southwestern Medical School. Like every aspiring doctor, she took the MCAT. When her score came back, it was below the average of admitted students at her dream school. As her father, I gave what I thought was rational advice: take it again. To me, it seemed like a "nothing to lose" situation. If she improved her score, her chances would increase. If she did worse, it likely would not hurt her application significantly. I assumed she would agree.

She did not. She firmly refused. The MCAT had been one of the hardest experiences of her life, and she did not want to go through it again. From her tone and body language, I knew I should not push further. Preserving our relationship mattered more than winning an argument.

If I had been in her position, I would have taken the test again without hesitation. I am willing to suffer twice if there is even a small chance of improving the outcome. That is how I am wired. And that difference made me reflect. When my wife and I came to the United States in 1996, we had very little to fall back on. Like many first-generation immigrants, we felt we had no safety net. That mindset changes you. When you believe you have nothing to depend on, you take risks differently. You endure discomfort differently. Many successful founders and executives in places like Silicon Valley are immigrants. I do not think that is an accident. For many of us, the mindset is simple: no pain, no gain.

But my daughter is not me. She grew up in a different environment, with more stability and support. Her calculation of risk and pain is different. That does not make her weaker. It makes her different. In the end, she was not admitted to UT Southwestern, but she was accepted to two medical schools in Texas and chose UTMB at Galveston. Getting into any medical school is extremely competitive, and I am deeply proud of her.